why did i have to be so stubborn and insisted on coming to ANU... why did i have put myself so much misery now... I WANNA GO HOME~!!!! I DON'T WANNA BE IN ANU ANYMORE~!!! I'D RATHER GO HOME TO WORK THEN TO BE HERE!!!! I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO GO HOME NOW~!!!

how do you tell your parents that you have intentions of quitting school and do not wanna continue another miserable period in Australia.... how do you tell your parents that you have thoughts of changing to a uni where you have friends there and it's nearer to home..... how do you tell your parents that you just wanna give up cos it's mentally draining me out... how do you tell all that without breaking their hurt and disappointment in you and let them take you home without feeling guilty for the rest of your life....

i can't call my parents now cos i feel miserable... i don't want them to worry... but yet now... everytime i just feel like crying... it has come to a point where i can only hold conversations over the internet cos no one would know how i really sound like... i can say haha when my eyes are actually watery... i can put a smiley face when i'm actually red-eyed... sigh.... i feel misery now.... i would fall into depression soon... i know i'm not yet cos if i do think i'm depressed it means i'm not cos a depressed person do not know that...

i'm losing faith... though i'm still fighting with all i've got to get through the sup paper... but seriously... i am just fighting for my parents... but other than that... i have no will or whatsoever to staying here... i wanna leave this dreadful place.... i wanna be with someone familiar...

to sum it all up..... I'M INCREDIBLY MISERABLE!!!!! i wanna go home.....

bye