i know this is a little late to say... but i'm dead tired when i got home... so i didn't had any energy to do anything... main thing is... HAPPY 1ST MONTH!!!!! and just nice... we skipped school to spend the day together... though it was spend doing nothing except lazing at his place... and later walking around his area... =) it's still nice though... to just be in his company... loves to you boy... it just seems more than just a month to me... (= wonder if you feel the same too... anyhoo... loves... =D

today's shopping day!!! uh-huh... bought stuff... it's been a long time since i went shopping... especially on a weekend... the weekend crowd is horrible... i still prefer the weekday crowds... it so much more peaceful... and it makes shopping less tiring... bought 2 tops 1 necklace 1 pair of earrings and 1 hair clip... =D cheap stuff... and all worth the buy... i love today!!! hehe... before the shopping spree... went Equinox to have an early celebration of ah ling jie jie's 21st birthday... the food is fanstatic... the view is breath-taking... and of course the company is always the best... another celebration would be held on the actual day.. but that would just be within the family... which includes parents me anna sisters and their boyfriend... =) prolly steamboat barbecue or some sort... hurrays!! i love steamboat barbecue... it's fun... i sound as if it's my birthday they are celebrating... but it's not... i still have a long way before it is... but it's a 21st celebration... who isn't excited... hehe...

heading down to the library tomorrow... it's time to start to really fill my log book... spot checks are being down already... i'm so screwed... i finally have enough flies to do population test... but it's only enough for 1 person in the team to do it... and then it's back to harvesting and keeping... i'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing happens to my sex vials for the next few days... or i'll just go crazy... and kill myself... cos it took us very long to actually finally keep that many... zzzzzzzz stupid flies... please just peace with me for once... i beg you... i wanna get it done and over with... i'm dreading labs more and more... don't make me dislike it totally... please be good to me flies... i promise i won't scold you anymore if you just live and not make my sex vials a fake one... it would be much appreciated... sheesh... flies are driving me nuts... i'm even blogging to them now... =X

my eyelids are getting heavier already... i'm gonna get knocked out soon... i've always been so tired ever since fyp started... when will i ever be not tired again.... *sigh* off to bed as soon as my photos are all transferred... totally drained of any energy... log book day tomorrow... should i be excited or bored... haha... night people... bon nuit!

i have so many issues... be it school, life or relationship... i have issues with almost everything... i don't know why... i'm starting to be so darn snappy and over sensitive at everything... i get paranoid... irritated... then angry with the slightest things and the next thing i know... i wanna just hide in one corner all by myself and cry my heart out which i'm having so much difficulty doing... it's all just cramped up inside me... and i know it's not right to vent my anger on anyone... i'm gonna burst soon... but i'm trying very hard to control... and in the end... who gets all these crap from me? boyfriend... yup... i'm being snappy and unreasonable and showing ubber mood swings that changes as fast as the speed of sound towards him... i know it's not fair to him... but i keep doing it...

i needa get those issues either forgotten or settled soon... but how am i supposed to get these issues settled when i don't even dare face those issues and keep running away from them or not dare to lay them all out... ARGH!!!!!!! i'm so fucked up now... i don't know what i'm doing... everything's starting to kick in... the insecurities... the uneasiness... the wild thoughts... the stupid idea of pushing everything away and prolly regret the things i did after it all gets too late... then i'll start reproaching myself... and lose interest in everything bringing an angry aura everywhere i go... keeping people at bay...

school issues are the norm... project's making me crazy... just lost a vial of flies which is damn important for the experiment... and now... we've got to start all over again... which means our project's way behind schedule... this is bad... real bad... i'm going bonkers over these stupid flies...for all vials... why must that vial go missing?????? it just doesn't make any sense... sigh.... i'm hating the way things are now...

relationship issues are hard to pen down... i don't know what i should do about them.. i supposed the problem lies with me... i expect too much... too much attention is needed... is that what a spoilt kid is like? am i really spoilt? it's always about insecurities... it's always about my stupid big ego and my imagination getting the better of me... i don't know how to handle relationships... i admit that... i don't know how to give in... i expect this and that... yet on the other hand... maybe i can't expect anything since i'm not living up to other people's expectation too... aye... i don't know what to do... this is fustrating... ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: time to breakaway

went camp from tuesday to thursday... it's for the freshmen... and it's kinda fun... though at some parts it got kinda boring... i pity those freshies cos they were made to wait and left hungry almost all the time... what bad organization... but oh wells... made some friends with the freshies and got a flooded add of people in my msn suddenly... haha... i was to lazy to add people... and i haven't been online for 4 or 5 days... so yeah... lagged up the whole of my msn... it's okay though... at least i got to know a bunch of fun guys... (=

barabecue gathering with the usual few at my place on good friday... last minute grocery shopping with boyfriend and big ben... a total of 67 bucks and a few cents were spent for lots of food that we couldn't finish up... i think we're lousy at cooking... hehe... cos there's always a handful of the food not cooked... we're like eating raw food instead... haha... the only success i guess was the corn... haha... even the hotdogs and sausages got burnt... hehe... oh wells... but it didn't matter... most of the time we were talking and laughing and goofing around... my stomach muscles ached after laughing too much... lol... after dinner it was shower time and arcade... the guns refused to work on my PS2... i ain't sure it's my players fault or the guns... just too bad we couldn't use the gun... so we seek another fun alternative... burnout!!!! oh yea... it's the best game ever... verdict... jas and giff are the ultimate car wrecker and big ben's the ultimate loser... lol... just cos he got a zilch to 10 while competing in a takedown battle... lol... got hungry after all the excitement, everyone got hungry so it's was Mcers for us... (= bagel for me... yum!! though hotcakes are the best... I LOVE HOTCAKES!!! i think everyone who knows me get that... LoL... so it was ubber early breakfast for everyone and then movie screening in the room: Night At The Museum... most of us for knocked out halfway during the show already... by the end of the movie... it was bright and everyone decided to go home...

saturday's spent with boyfriend and big ben at big ben's place... slept through the morning and then mahjong in the afternoon... 3 person mahjong... it's fun... i'm addicted to mahjong... =D after that it was home for all of us... and i'm stoning now...

it's only been a week and 6 days with you yet i feel as if we've been together for more than that... kinda weird isn't it... i'm just too comfortable when i'm with you... let's go on a date one day dearie... it's been ages since we've done that ever since FYP started... let's make our rounds at Toys R Us again and just window shop anywhere... i miss going out to town with you... let's do that soon... i <3>