Wednesday, October 31, 2007
, 11:04 PM
one word to describe how i feel now: depressed
all the results that i've got for my UTs are depressing... i don't know if i should cry over my results or laugh about my stupidity... seriously... i'm starting to think i'm stupid.. everything isn't doing well for me... why is that so? i have no idea... yup... i think i suck... i mean... academics wise... then again... when have i ever been good? now the future's so vague... looking at the rate my results are going... i don't think i can go anywhere... =x sigh... i need someone to comfort me now... how long will i be able to hold this all in? i'm think i'm stupid...
I'M STUPID!!!!!i hate myself for not being academically good... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! depression's really eating into me... =(((
help....
just leave me to die.... no... wait... don't leave me to die...
i wanna watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang... =((((
bye
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
, 12:21 AM
been watching an anime called Jigoku Shouju or the english name Hell Girl... and it's an interesting anime... one with not so much laughter... yet you understand why the people pull the string on the straw doll and seek revenge with the help of the Hell Girl... then again... does it really happen in reality? revenge after revenge... a never ending one? if there were to have such a website where Hell Girl becomes true... would i be on one of the hate list? would i disappear to hell too?
i watched the show and i started thinking.. if i entered the website... who's name would i put down? then i realized... i never hated anyone before... in fact there's no one i hate... sure i do say i wish this certain person would disappear from the surface of the earth and what have you... but ultimately... i just brush it off and not bother after awhile... and just live with it... even if it's unbearable... i believe one day that hate would just go away... and of course it did...
there's a thing i don 't get... how can people bring themselves to hate someone? hating someone takes up alot of energy... that's how i see it... why go through the trouble of doing terrible things for someone you hate in the first place?
hate... it's such a strong and harsh word to use... unless the person did something unforgivable and so terrible that there's no savaging then maybe it's right to hate that person... but to send him/her to hell and you joining them? is it worth the trouble? is it all worthwhile in the end? living with the knowledge that you'll end up in hell? why do people hold grudges in the first place? do the person holding the grudge even feels good doing that? if i had hold grudges... then prolly my ancient one would be cursed to hell for killing my parrot due to animal instincts and my dad too for fogging the garden not knowing my hamsters were outside... sure... i got angry and refused to speak to either of them for a long while... but i still in the end... i wished them all go to heaven if there's such a place when they leave the earth... especially the ancient one... he may be a wild pet... but he's still loved and a good one... he'll go to dog heaven... =)
so people... here's the question... would you actually wanna go hell with someone you claim to hate? wouldn't it not be worth it?
i believe in karma... such people who do evil stuff to people.. they'll get back double of what they did to others...
here's what i think... don't hate... some people may see this action as hypocritical or what... but seriously... don't hate... no matter what that person did... never hate... cause if one revenge is taken another would follow and it'll be a never ending battle of revenge... what's the point in all that right? ultimately no one's happy... and that's the ugly side of reality...
i love the world i've created and live in... cos it acts as comfort to me when i come back from this harsh world that we humans have created... how sad is that...
bon nuit! chao... =D
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
, 11:49 PM
finally i've gone a date with Ms Soh Wan Ping.... it seems like donkey years since we last went out together taking pictures and catching up and eating till our stomach burst... hahaha... and of course it was great where we gossip about everything possible... it's amazing that no matter how we talk... we always have endless things to say... she's bad for me.. hahahaha... spent money... gain weight... lol... but i'm loving it... and the following message is to her: my dear... let's do it again even if you're bad for me... lol~ loves to you~ <3
i bought 2 new shirts today... it was such a random thing... was gonna go home when we passed the cart shop at Cineleisure... and they had shirts selling at 10 bucks per piece... material ain't that bad either... so i couldn't help but buy 2 at one go... and and i helped the girl reach her sales target... lol... darn... i spent money again... oh wells... it means less money on food = more weight lost... kekekeke... stupid thinking... but it's all for the better i hope... hahahaha... whatever...
these few days i've realized i've been a happier person... i noticed that my entries are much of a better tone compare to months back when i had a once-loved... my entries aren't so emo... i seem to be smiling and laughing alot ever since... and 2 days back i found out that i've been missing out on alot of stuff when i was blinded by what i thought was true love... and to come to think of it... true love doesn't have to come only from another half... in fact... true love comes in a warming way through friends and family... very cliche isn't it? but i think it's really true... i was walking home that night and i started to realized that i really had let go of what was in the past... i found out that i've been having people that are actually more than just mere classmates... but rather people that can talk to and have comfort in... and most importantly... the mention of HIS name doesn't make me feel hurt anymore... but rather more of a joke... HE can appear in front of me and i wouldn't have butterflies in my stomach anymore... is that a sign telling me that HE's just another memory and that i'm better now? haha... after that thought came into my mind... i felt so much lighter... not literally of course.. lol... i'm still heavy literally... i know that... =( haha... anyways... the thing is... i am really not cut out to be in a committed relationship yet i suppose... whenever i enter one... i either not bother about the whole thing altogether... or get all paranoid and depress... i wouldn't be able to laugh and smile like i used to... i just can't be myself... so i'm very thankful for what i have now... i've got friends like Jasmine who's a listener... Donkey Jiejie a.k.a Ju who's a nice "sister" to have... a baboon who's always entertaining... Yong Lee who's lamely nice... and a whole lot of others to go crazy with... i really started talking to these peeps only after getting out of a relationship... i conclude that relationships makes you lose out on many things... seriously... silly things are done together as a big group and yet we can laugh it out and have so much fun... we'll be there for each other one way or another... here's another conclusion... friendships last forever... relationships are friendship-breakers... i like things the way they are now... and i wished it'll always stay that way... one big happy family... they are the next closest people i have and cherish lots... aside from my girlfriends and family of course... =D the Queen's giving all her love to her wonderful peeps... many many many loves~ and it's a love that will never fade or given to another for sure...
saw a cute shirt at Queen's Couture today and it read: Tired of meeting Mr. Wrong? hahaha... i'm so tempted to get that top... but it's 49 bucks... any kind soul wanna get it for me? hahaha... the Queen's in need of a new wardrobe filled with tees... lol~
so dead for structural bio UT... =x
nights people~ by the way... the babies are getting better each day and i'm so so happy about it... and so....
this is Queen Cynthia.......................... out
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
, 11:51 AM
i've finally decided to type the website of Blogger and start blogging for the month again... =) lots have been happening... but i've seem to forgotten about most of them... =D let me start with the latest one... on sunday...
Sunday, 7th Octiber 2007:
my darling cousin Charmaine's birthday party.... =) get to see those 2 princesses again... and as usual... they are as adorable as always... birthday cake's real nice and pretty.. me and ah ling jiejie had many servings of it... and of course the little one didn't get left out with her fair share of her sister's cake... =) pictures will be up soon...
it's also the day where Pixie and Wixie got brought home...(f.y.i: Pixie and Wixie are the new babies in the house... adopted by me my sister and my anna from my cousin) Pixie was looking weak and Wixie's very strong... so yeah... had some pictures taken of them... but mainly on Pixie cos he was so weak that he slept on my hand and i couldn't help but take pictures of him sleeping... kekekeke... here's a few shots of them and Pixie... =D
and so that marks the end of my Sunday...
Monday, 8th October 2007:
that was yesterday... one of those bad days that people do have where things seems to go terribly wrong one way or another... but of course there's an upside to it too... so here's the list of bad things that happened to me first,..
1st: i got the overpowering Ah Pui in my team... =( and to add on...
2nd: i didn't really know what to do the whole of yesterday and ended up not doing anything and not understanding anything...
3rd: i fell down... not just infront of my friends but a whole lot of other people that i don't know... =((
4th: i've got a big bruise on my knee and it seem to be dented in... when i stand, the bruised knee seem to be in compared to the other fine knee... =(( plus plus plus.... more bruises somehow suddenly start popping out together with the bruised knee... =((((
4 bad things... how unlucky can i get.... zzzzz
but here's the upside...
1st: the babies are all fine... in fact... they are getting bigger and stronger... =D <3>
2nd: Alvin Teo's satisfied with the way i am progressing so far in the project... and it always feel satisfying to be gaining approval from a teacher... =D i feel like a primary school kid... lol~
3rd: the usual gang and i caught Balls Of Fury on the big screens... =) and it's cheap tickets day... kekekeke... so it's good... ratings for the show? 6 movie crowns / 10 movie crowns... the some of the jokes are rather predicted but i had lots of laugh... very loud ones too... hahaha... i just like laughing damn loud in comedy movies... i don't know why... but it feels fun... lol~
and then it's bye bye to the bad day of the week... =) Daddy's back from Perth too... =D and he got us very nice chocolates that the hotel gave him for the 4 days he was there... hahaha... it maybe just hotel chocolates... but they are really darn good chocolate... muahahahaha...
so now... back to the present... having structural bio now... and i'm done with my work but i'll prolly snatch a little nap before 2... UT later after lesson and i have to change class... how troublesome... zzzz but i've got no choice... school made me like that... sigh~ and i haven't studied for my test... and my tummy's hurting now... =(( maybe the bad day aura isn't gone yet... bahh~! here's the brightside to the bad one... tomorrow's a wednesday!!!! yay~!! hahahahahahahahaha... tuedays are loved... kekekekeke... and so are fridays!!! can't wait for the day to be over... it's time for me to catch a short nap now... so i bid you, whoever that is, adieu~ there might be another entry tonight... a thought which was in my mind when i was walking home yesterday night... =D
