heya people... i'm back to rant.... i finally told my parents about my deicision... and i've finally made up my mind... friends are asking me... or rather... telling me that it's a bad decision and i'm gonna regret... that i should give myself another chance and not make decisions so quickly... but i think i've thought it out really thoroughly... i'm quitting... i know this is a sign of weakness... and a very bad way of doing things... but if only they could see how i see things.... how i feel about what's going on.... maybe then they'll understand better...

my parents reacted not too badly to my decision... although i was expecting more and maybe i'll get more reactions when i return.... but for now... they're just being supportive and i really appreciate that...

i know i'm gonna feel guilty for the rest of my life... and prolly also regret on giving up on my dream... but seriously... let's face it... i'm prolly really not cut out for science... and it took me 4 and half years to figure that out.... so why not stay on and do business here instead you may ask.... well... i don't wanna be away from home... i feel pressured... i feel suffocated.... i'm just tired... yes... it's only half a year and i already can't stand it... but seriously... i wanna be back home... with the family... with familiar places.... and familiar people... and a good environment which i'll feel relaxed in.... i don't feel relaxed here at all unfortunately.... so yes... i'm returning no matter what...

i'm relieved after making this decision... it really made my load lighter... i felt happier and all set to go home... i'll miss the weather here... i'll miss the people i know here.... but i'll not miss the school... i'll miss the wildlife here that i'll never get to see in a city like home.... but still... home is still the best place after all... =)

so people.... before you make any judgement about me as a person... maybe try understanding why sometimes such decisions are made.... i'm not running away... i'm doing what's best... and i'm trying to not do any more harm financially and mentally to both myself and my parents.... with that said... think of me as weak... i'm fine with that... it can come to the point where you wanna not associate yourself with me... but who cares... it's my future... and i know this is right...

skiing this weekend... can't wait.... =) then maybe i should start making plans to go home early... =) lots of packing to be done... =D

toodles people... it's close to the weekend... =D