there's many things stuck in me that wanna be said out... especially to him... but i can't say it out... cos it only makes things worse... i'm struggling to keep myself top form now before this saturday... but i realize... i'm crumbling... i can't take it anymore... things just gets worse every minute... no other conversation can be started other than arguing... i'm so tired... and frustrated.. and hurt... yet he doesn't get it... where is he when i really need someone to lean on? i can't be by myself any longer...

i'm rude sometimes... i know it... i have things on my mind... don't i have the right to let it out? aren't boyfriends supposed to be there to let you vent your frustration and understand and not take it to heart? this saturday's already pressuring me... can't he understand that? yet things just gets worse... and now... he just talks work... nothing more... just cos i gave him a stupid deal to draw the line when i was very pissed off... it's my bad... and he knows it... and he's not doing anything to help make me feel better... maybe we really do need to cool off... not see each other besides project... maybe that way... he'll feel so much better and i've got to learn to deal with it...

i just wanna be the real me in front of him... yet it's the wrong thing to do...