i wanted give up halfway today in class... i wanted to just leave... just go and not care about what's going to happen... but i still stayed... i still carried on... i managed to go through the day... and i didn't fall asleep in the meeting... i was awake the whole time and kinda paying attention to the lesson... yup... though i was halfway to braindead... i was still listening... that's a good thing... =)

today's a good day... yup... one with lots of smile and laughter and happy aura around... something that i had been missing for a few weeks... where we were smiling throughout the whole day... not much smile... though i started a question... that i somehow got affected by it... but i just wanted to know... cos i've been thinking about it... but i just couldn't think of when to say it... till today when we were laughing and joking then i suddenly pop the question: what happens if i went overseas to study and you're here in singapore... would you wait?

it's prolly a very sensitive question... something i shouldn't be thinking of so fast... yet i can't help myself... we'll be graduating in a few months time... next year may sound as if it's still long... but if you actually count... it's in fact only in half a year's time... and it's passing real fast.. soon you'll be going to NS... and i'll might end up overseas to study when i can't get into local uni... then what will happen to us? will we part? or will we go through this long distance and prolly very tough time that we'll have? you've gone through this topic with her before... but that's not me... you've not gone through this with me... till now... and you couldn't give me a definite answer... you're not if you'll wait for me... that's what i innterpreted from the answer you gave me... of course if i could... i'll get into local uni... i can't imagine living out on my own... doing things on my own... i'm too dependent... i'll prolly have lots of trouble and very homesick... but if i don't have any other choice... i'll have to fly away... would we be able to sustain what we have now? be stable enough to let each other be apart for years and only seeing each other on vacations? would that be possible? sigh... a firm answer is what i really need and not questions to my questions... not you asking me back the same question...

ut's piling up again... darn... where's my freaking break? i know the answer... when the year's over... of course i'll have my break... a long one in fact... sheesh... this is torturous... RP... it has lots of names... it's a relaxing poly... but not it doesn't seem so anymore... retarded poly.. it has always been called that cos of their stupid system... reject poly... yup... it's my only alternative to get into the diploma i'm doing... what choice do i have... rich poly... like ubber... lots of money... yet not getting good stuff... so stingy... no wonder we are wasting the stuff in the lab... cos we paid for them... so we got to make use of what we are putting our money into... hahahaa... new one... runaway poly... yea... where students run away from class... lol... the way students leave class halfway or pon class is really scary... it's not just 1 person leaving... but it's most of the time half or more of the class leaving together... seriously... we run... hahahahahahaha...

i'm getting tired... i'm shutting down already... class again tomorrow and i can't pon this no more... argh!!!! rest rest!!! weekends quick hurry.. come come... argh!!!!