have you ever felt so alone? like there's no one there for you when you're in need... like there's no one there telling you everything would be fine and over soon... like there's no one to give you a hug and comfort you... that's what i'm feeling right now... alone... all alone by myself with no one to hold, talk or even just be with... i need comfort now... yet i don't know where to get one... i've been feeling so down lately... like there's something missing... everything looks bad around me... i've lost my smiling ability... it just seems so hard to smile again... all i just feel like doing is cry my hearts out... tears just keeps coming... tiny setbacks and unhappiness could make me cry so hard... i'm becoming the old crying me again... the me who just cries at everything... and this sucks... it totally sucks... it's making me an unhappy girl... a girl that snaps and have an angry face on all the time... my tears are starting to be unlimited... i'm breaking down... and it's real bad...

i need to be happy again... or i'll just lose just about everything that i know i'll start to regret the moment it's gone... i know i have to stop feeling upset... i know i have to stop what i'm doing to myself and the people around me... sure... i laugh with people in school... i try to put a strong front... but after awhile... it starts to wear off... cos i can't take it anymore... i can't go on pretending that i'm fine... that i'm okay... that there's nothing wrong... i can't do that... it's tiring me out... it's draining every energy out of me emotionally...

to boyfriend (if you ever see this):
i'm not exactly what you call a good girlfriend... or prolly not an easy one either... something's missing... and i still can't figure out what... you know there's something missing too... yet you don't know what either... so we're hanging on something missing... will we ever find out what that missing thing is? sigh... i'm sad... and emo... and hope you'll understand... i need to find that something before we can move on to a better us... WE need to find that missing something... will you find it too?


i hate feeling like i'm alone... i don't wanna go back to being that grouchy girl i was again... i hate that...