i have so many issues... be it school, life or relationship... i have issues with almost everything... i don't know why... i'm starting to be so darn snappy and over sensitive at everything... i get paranoid... irritated... then angry with the slightest things and the next thing i know... i wanna just hide in one corner all by myself and cry my heart out which i'm having so much difficulty doing... it's all just cramped up inside me... and i know it's not right to vent my anger on anyone... i'm gonna burst soon... but i'm trying very hard to control... and in the end... who gets all these crap from me? boyfriend... yup... i'm being snappy and unreasonable and showing ubber mood swings that changes as fast as the speed of sound towards him... i know it's not fair to him... but i keep doing it...

i needa get those issues either forgotten or settled soon... but how am i supposed to get these issues settled when i don't even dare face those issues and keep running away from them or not dare to lay them all out... ARGH!!!!!!! i'm so fucked up now... i don't know what i'm doing... everything's starting to kick in... the insecurities... the uneasiness... the wild thoughts... the stupid idea of pushing everything away and prolly regret the things i did after it all gets too late... then i'll start reproaching myself... and lose interest in everything bringing an angry aura everywhere i go... keeping people at bay...

school issues are the norm... project's making me crazy... just lost a vial of flies which is damn important for the experiment... and now... we've got to start all over again... which means our project's way behind schedule... this is bad... real bad... i'm going bonkers over these stupid flies...for all vials... why must that vial go missing?????? it just doesn't make any sense... sigh.... i'm hating the way things are now...

relationship issues are hard to pen down... i don't know what i should do about them.. i supposed the problem lies with me... i expect too much... too much attention is needed... is that what a spoilt kid is like? am i really spoilt? it's always about insecurities... it's always about my stupid big ego and my imagination getting the better of me... i don't know how to handle relationships... i admit that... i don't know how to give in... i expect this and that... yet on the other hand... maybe i can't expect anything since i'm not living up to other people's expectation too... aye... i don't know what to do... this is fustrating... ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: time to breakaway